daeneryus:

shutupaubrey:

princesschloepea:

life tip whatever dumb ass name you get siri to call you is what your iphone automatically signs your emails as. i have been applying to jobs for 2 months as queef.

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#OH MY GOD OH GMY GOD OH MY GOD NO N ONO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOO #HOLY SHIT #I HAVE BEEN APPLYING TO JOBS AS ANAL DESTROYER

(Source: princessblogonoke, via fanofphan)

bombing:

just got crowned. it’s like getting owned except now i have my own kingdom

lllllllllllllletswrite:

i almost got arrested when i was 7 because i was putting that fake snow stuff in plastic sandwich baggies and giving them to all my friends and more and more kids would come to me asking for snow and one of the kid’s parents found it and they thought it was cocaine so they called the police on us and they literally thought that a 7 year old girl had created an underground drug distributing system

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

Good wifi on the Hogwarts Express this year

victorydancebitches:

can-i-please-kiss-you-if-i:

neverknowinglybeserious:

a-hobbit-john:

hiiddles:

wife-of-loki:

MINE IS CRAPPY
WHAT CARRIAGE ARE YOU IN!??!?!

COME TO THE BACK 

THE SLYTHERINS HAVE HACKED DUMBLEDORE’S WIFI

1GB BITCHES

Thanks to the Ravenclaws, guys.

The password’s “AL0H4M0R4”
Pass it on. 

(Source: accioheadcanons, via the-sherlockian-potterhead-23)

e-bae:

Told this girl to text me when she got home… I think she homeless

(via ernbarassing)

thequeerclone:

the fact that there have no leaked nudes in my dashboard proves that i’m following the right people

(via fandomfeelsandfangirling)

notiero:

'europe tour' oh you mean uk+germany???

(via c0me-of-age)

theicelandicmountaindaisy:

One of my favourite things about Harry Potter is that Harry is such an unreliable narrator, not because he’s lying, but because he was so oblivious, just about anything could be going on under his nose and he wouldn’t even notice. It’s great because it supports basically every headcanon. Like, no, Harry would not have noticed if Sirius and Remus were dating, I know he’s The Chosen One but he’s about as perceptive as a pile of bricks.

(via fandomfeelsandfangirling)

herhmione:

hey guys this boy at my school was diagnosed with cancer and his parents are having a hard time paying for all his treatment so even if y’all can’t donate if you can signal boost that would be so amazing

(via human)

malkiewicz:

Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest that just sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.

(via guy)

Conversation I overheard at work
  • Customer: How can you do this job (stripping)? Isn't it degrading having to take your clothes of for money?
  • Dancer: You're the guy that just forked out $300 for me to take my clothes off. Isn't it degrading having to pay that much before a girl who looks like me will take her clothes for you?

i am so fucking bored my brain feels empty i have homework to do but im not gonna do it i dont feel like doing anything

and im frustrated bc ive been wanting those tuk creeper boots for months and i finally have the money, only to find out i cant get them anywhere without paying like $45 of shipping costs, not even being sure if they fit

i feel bad

The world is full of nice people. If you can’t find one, be one. - Unknown (via girlmoss)

(Source: psych-facts, via confucius-ness)


preparetobemildlyentertained:

lalalacoco:

so guys i was trying to cheer someone up with harry potter memes and i found some really good ones

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like seriously

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look at these

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i feel like i just relived 2008

(via dammit-darlin)